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Jebidiah Atkinson: Some Historical SNL Funniness!

RandomAPUSH.com, née APUSH5.com, is on indefinite hiatus until I find time for the luxury of researching U.S. history in a way that APUSH students deserve.

For the time being, enjoy this hilarious Jebidiah Atkinson video, courtesy of SNL!

Some of you out there are probably wondering whether the very ornery Mr. Atkinson was a real person. Alas, he is a fictional character of SNL origin.

But this character was inspired by a real event: the retraction of a scathing review of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. The review was published on November 24, 1863, in The Harrisburg Patriot & Union.

Today’s modern incarnation of the Patriot & Union is The Patriot-News. They published their retraction on November 14, 2013, five days before the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address.

If you’re looking for the full text of the Gettysburg Address, you can find five different versions of it here.

Which statement would most likely be heard from a member of the Federalist party?

Which statement would most likely be heard from a member of the Federalist party?

a. “We should definitely get involved in the French Revolution and help them fight the British. After all, they helped us fight them in our war.”
b. “What we need is for the federal government to help with the development of a business district in our city.”
c. “Agriculture is the heart of our nation, and supporting our farmers is of great importance.”
d. “Making it illegal to talk badly about our president is a violation of the First Amendment.”
e. “Alexander Hamilton is nuts! Someone should throw that man in jail.”

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following was not one of the ways that Alexander Hamilton planned to pay off America’s debt?

Which of the following was not one of the ways that Alexander Hamilton planned to pay off America’s debt?

a. Negotiating reduced debt settlements with parties to whom America owed money
b. Selling government bonds
c. Imposing tariffs on imported goods
d. Charging sales tax on whiskey
e. Subsidizing American manufacturers

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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The Federalist Papers were…?

The Federalist Papers were…

a. Written by Patrick Henry and George Mason in support of creating The Bill of Rights
b. Written by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison in support of ratifying the Constitution
c. Written by Daniel Shays in opposition to taxes imposed on farmers by the state of Massachusetts
d. Written by George Washington in his bid to become America’s first president
e. Written by John Winthrop and William Penn to outline the need for a powerful central government

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following did The Articles of Confederation do a good job of addressing?

Which of the following did The Articles of Confederation do a good job of addressing?

a. United States foreign policy
b. The three branches of government Americans currently live under
c. The handling of newly acquired western lands
d. Powers granted to the government’s Executive and Legislative branches
e. The purchase of new lands from the Native Americans

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Why did Spain close the mouth of the Mississippi River to American shipping?

Why did Spain close the mouth of the Mississippi River to American shipping?

a. Americans had refused to pay a tax for using the river
b. The river was deemed too dangerous for shipping vessels to navigate safely
c. Native Americans had declared the river sacred and convinced the Spanish to block all commercial boats from entering
d. Spain was concerned that Americans would eventually try to take the region from them
e. The river was too shallow for the large shipping vessels Americans were using

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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What issue was at the heart of The Great Compromise of 1787?

What issue was at the heart of The Great Compromise of 1787?

a. Taxes paid to the central government by the states
b. The level of representation each state was allowed to have in Congress
c. Parceling of new lands west of the Appalachian Mountains
d. Conflicts between Native Americans and westward-bound American settlers
e. The decision to abandon the original version of The Articles of Confederation

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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What prompted the writing of the first ten amendments to the Constitution, also known as The Bill of Rights?

What prompted the writing of the first ten amendments to the Constitution, also known as The Bill of Rights?

a. The refusal of Antifederalists to support the Constitution unless such changes were made
b. Widespread support for ideas presented in The Federalist Papers
c. Concerns voiced by delegates from smaller states who believed that the new government being created would be too powerful
d. The failure of The Articles of Confederation to address public uprisings
e. It was part of the final agreement in the Three-Fifths Compromise

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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The colonial rallying cry, “No taxation without representation!”, was adopted as a result of which event?

The colonial rallying cry, “No taxation without representation!”, was adopted as a result of which event?

a. The Boston Tea Party of 1773
b. The Boston Massacre of 1770
c. The Stamp Act Congress of 1765
d. The Gaspee Affair of 1772
e. The Proclamation Act of 1763

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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The French and Indian War was…?

The French and Indian War was

a. Fought between French colonists and Native Americans over French claims to native lands in North America
b. A conflict in which British and French forces fought side by side to drive Native Americans off their land
c. A war fought by the colonists of British North America against French troops and local natives in an attempt to claim northern lands in what is now Canada
d. A war fought by the colonists of British North America against French troops and local natives in an attempt to claim lands west of the Appalachian mountains
e. A war in which local natives fought colonization efforts by both British and French settlers

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following was not an advantage that the British had over colonists in the Revolutionary War?

Which of the following was not an advantage that the British had over colonists in the Revolutionary War?

a. They had an organized and professional military force
b. They offered freedom to slaves who would fight on their behalf
c. They could rely on support from Native American tribes
d. They already had loyal supporters within the colonies
e. They could easily control British North America’s vast wilderness and rural lands

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following is not one of the central ideas that is expressed in The Declaration of Independence?

Which of the following is not one of the central ideas that is expressed in The Declaration of Independence?

a. All men are created equal
b. People have the right to alter or abolish a government that violates their natural rights
c. Government gains legitimacy from having the consent of the governed
d. The power to govern belongs to the people
e. Slaves must be endowed by their owners with certain unalienable rights

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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The Coercive Acts (or Intolerable Acts) of 1774 were passed by British government in response to what event?

The Coercive Acts (or Intolerable Acts) of 1774 were passed by British government in response to what event?

a. The Boston Massacre
b. The Boston Tea Party
c. The ratification of The Declaration of Independence
d. The formation of The Sons of Liberty
e. King George III’s rejection of The Olive Branch Petition

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following was not a side effect of The Glorious Revolution?

Which of the following was not a side effect of The Glorious Revolution?

a. The fall of the Dominion of New England and subsequent restoration of royal charters to New England colonies
b. The establishment of a new generation of Catholic royalty in England
c. The end of absolute monarchy in England
d. The establishment of the English Bill of Rights
e. King James II’s removal from the British throne

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following statements is true of The Half-Way Covenant?

Which of the following statements is true of The Half-Way Covenant?

a. African slaves were allowed partial freedom in return for hard work
b. Children of Congregationalist Church members were allowed partial church membership
c. Fifty percent of all colonial taxes were paid directly to the Congregationalist Church
d. The ratio of slaves to white population could not exceed 50% for fear of an open slave rebellion
e. 50% of all taxes collected in the 13 colonies would be paid directly to the British government

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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The main issue at the center of Bacon’s Rebellion was…?

The main issue at the center of Bacon’s Rebellion was

a. Nathaniel Bacon’s desire to push Native Americans further west and claim their land
b. Jamestown’s lack of financial support for frontier farmers recently released from indentured servitude
c. The House of Burgesses refusal to recognize former indentured servants as citizens
d. The Virginia government’s refusal to aid frontier farmers in their battles with Native Americans
e. Frontier farmers’ religious objections to the use of African slaves

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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What is salutary neglect?

What is salutary neglect?

a. Failure of a member of colonial government to pay proper tribute to someone of a higher office
b. The British government’s policy of not enforcing its own laws on the North American colonies
c. The British government’s failure to export enough manufactured goods to the North American colonies
d. The refusal of colonists to pay taxes to the British crown
e. The failure of colonists to live in accordance with British law

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following statements about slavery in early 18th century British North America is not true?

Which of the following statements about slavery in early 18th century British North America is not true?

a. Slavery existed in all of the thirteen colonies
b. Slavery had taken the place of indentured servitude as the main labor force on plantations
c. Slavery in northern states was less practical than in southern states due to the North’s shorter growing season
d. The majority of slave owners in northern states were Quakers
e. Black slaves outnumbered white people in some states

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Which of the following statements most closely reflects Puritan ideals?

Which of the following statements most closely reflects Puritan ideals?

a. God’s plan for you is unknown, so therefore you must live a pious life, work hard, and prevent your fellow man from straying from the flock
b. Your eternal fate is in your own hands, so therefore you must confess your sins daily and give generously to the church
c. We are all equals in the eyes of God and must treat everyone with kindness, even those who are viewed by others as savages
d. God is kind and forgiving, and you will be granted eternal life if you repent and accept God as your savior
e. God’s plan for you cannot be altered, and your fate will be the same no matter what you do or how you choose to live your life

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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Who was John Winthrop?

John Winthrop was

a. A Catholic who founded the colony of Maryland
b. A Puritan who founded the colony of Massachusetts Bay
c. A philanthropist who founded the colony of Georgia
d. A reverend who founded the colony of Connecticut
e. A Dutch settler who surrendered the colony of New Amsterdam to England

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Disclaimer: This question is just for testing your knowledge of AP US History… it is not intended to be a “sample question” from the AP US History Exam! That’s what APUSH practice tests are for.

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